At least make sure they are 18
Why
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
