I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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