i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize