let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
be right there i have to get my cape
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
