ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize