My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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