Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
