how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize