i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
