oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
