how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
