New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
