dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
