I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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