And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
