Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Farmville is her only friend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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