Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
