Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
