Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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