I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
