i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
