Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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