I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
