found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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