he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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