my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
