sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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