I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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