I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
