So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
