two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize