after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
