PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
