the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
