He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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