also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
