well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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