like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
