Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
