just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
