But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
