new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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