I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
