i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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