Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
