i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
