But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
