I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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