do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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