I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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