this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
