She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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