Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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