Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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