Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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