I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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