I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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