i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize