somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
