I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
