I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
