The maid of honor just puked.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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