she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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