Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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