Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
